Hello! Hello!

Yup. That’s old E. Jean up there showing her underpants at the Miss Cheerleader USA Contest. And DAMN, HONEY! Look at that jump! The scotch tape in the upper left I can’t remove. The photo was taped so long to the wall of my Pi Beta Phi bedroom, it permanently stuck. Anyway I won Miss Cheerleader USA and I’ve never stopped yelling and shouting since.

When I open an Ask E. Jean letter, what do I do? I start roaring and clapping and cheering for the correspondent to pick herself up and go on. And by Gawd! The correspondent does pick herself up and go on. Because if she doesn’t, I keep yelling at her.

I roared and whooped at the correspondents who wrote to the Ask E. Jean column for 27 years. The column appeared in Elle. Then I accused Donald Trump of assault, sued him for defamation, and Elle fired me.

And now Ask E. Jean is back, Baby!

Ready to chastise you, and cheer you on!

Here is what you will be supporting:

My free newsletter will bring you all the comedy and drama of the longest currently-running advice column in American publishing. You will read correspondent’s quagmires, get updates on my Trump lawsuit, laugh at the Confidential advice I give to persons in the United States Senate, help us hold the Powers That Be to account and make a real impact on the world!

Most fantastically—you will feel the power and the wit of the Mighty Conflab, the Ask E. Jean community composed of the smartest, most mutinous people on Substack.

Also, if you’re one of those intelligent readers who like being read to, starting in early October, newsletter will come with an audio version, so you can listen to my dog barking, chasing the cat, dropping his ball at my feet, and so on, as I try to read. This is why it is so excellent when famous people read the letters to Ask E. Jean, instead of yours truly.

And here is what paid subscribers will be getting:

—The fabulous and riotous monthly E. Jean’s Cocktail Hour Zooms. (We’ve discovered that helping people solve their problems brings meaning to our lives.)

—Membership in the world’s most affectionate and unruly club, The Conflab.

—The podcast featuring some of the world’s—YES! THE WORLD’s favorite writers, academy-award winners, and advice columnists (hopefully Dan Savage, Cheryl Strayed, Heather Havrilesky, etc.) on how PERFECT their lives are…..HAHAHAHAHAHA!

What People Are Saying about Ask E. Jean

About me.

I was raised in this red brick school house, in Dutch Ridge, Indiana. I grew up to be a cheerleader who happened to go on to write for Saturday Night Live, have a TV show called (what else?) Ask E. Jean, write five books, including the biography of Hunter S. Thompson and the current book, What Do We Need Men For? and skip around the world writing for Esquire, Outside, Elle, The Atlantic and Vanity Fair.

You can read more at EJeanCarroll. Here’s my Twitter.

So write to me!

No matter what problems are driving you crazy—-your career, your wardrobe, your love affairs, your lusts, your loneliness, your friends, your orgasms, or your finances— you can always reply to my newsletter directly, or send Q’s to AskEeeeJean@gmail.com.


Write to me Anonymously!

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And please! Drop me photos of your pets!

Here’s my dog, Guffington Von Fluke, the presiding god of the picnic table

My cat, Vagina T. Fireball in her anti-bird-killing collar.
Latest addition to the fam: Miss Havisham!

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Tormented? Driven Witless? Whipsawed by Confusion? Ask E. Jean is the longest currently-running advice column in American publishing.


Yeeeeeee gods! This is the 30th year of the Ask E. Jean column!!! I've also written for The Atlantic, New York, Vanity Fair, Esquire, Outside, Rolling Stone and did a stint at Saturday Night Live. Book: WHAT DO WE NEED MEN FOR?