Hello! Hello!
Yup. I love Substack. I love Substack so much, I subscribe to 213 Substacks. I love Substack so much I started my own Substack.
And . . . yup, I’m that woman. The only person on earth who beat Donald Trump, twice.
And . . . yup, Trump has been ordered by a unanimous federal jury to pay me $83.3 million.
And . . . Since Trump ONLY cares about money, and since his ego is tied to his money, and since he is very, very mad because he has to give me $83,000,000, and since I love pricking his tiny hot air balloon, I pledge to make him even madder by doing everything he hates with the money—-improving the lives of women, saving our tattered democracy, protecting voting rights, dismantling the concentration camps he’s building. Donations will be public. I will record them in this Substack, so we can all be apart of it.
You can read more about it in my book which recently debuted on The New York Times Best Sellers List at Number Two!
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I wrote the Ask E. Jean column in Elle magazine for 27 years. These days I’m asking the questions. And you are answering.
As it turns out, my questions are good; but your answers?……
What’s the last argument you won?
Are you the same person you were when you were a child?
What law would you like to be immune from?
What if you never left your home town?
Your first love, your last love, your favorite hair style, your worse boss, your best pet trick, the sickest you’ve ever been, the art that hung in your childhood bedroom, and on and on, question by question, your answers reveal your life history, and by the end we are all wiser, braver, and incredibly more powerful.
SO.
We aren’t going to save the world——————or, maybe we will, eh? But we will definitely save each other. And, yes, that’s old E. Jean up there in that photo showing her underpants at the Miss Cheerleader USA Contest. And DAMN, HONEY! Look at that jump! The scotch tape in the upper left I can’t remove. The photo was taped so long to the wall of my Pi Beta Phi bedroom, it permanently stuck. Anyway I won Miss Cheerleader USA and I’ve never stopped yelling and shouting since.
But now I’m gonna listen.
What People Are Saying about Ask E. Jean
About me.
I was raised in this red brick school house in the sticks of Indiana. I grew up to be a cheerleader who happened to go on to write for Saturday Night Live, have a TV show called (what else?) Ask E. Jean, write six books, including the biography of Hunter S. Thompson and What Do We Need Men For? and skip around the world writing for Esquire, Outside, Elle, The Atlantic and Vanity Fair.
You can read more at EJeanCarroll. Here’s my x.
So Answer My Questions!
And please! Drop me photos of your pets!
Latest addition to the fam: Miss Havisham!
