Peerless Reader! Vizier of the Eternal Marble! How Do You Keep Regular?
Word of disclaimer: I am not trying to virtue signal!! You do you! But since I've switched to a mostly plant based diet I've gone to poop heaven. Regular as the atomic clock. Now, about that heated toilet seat and bidet - LIFE ALTERING ❤️
A recent NYC indicator event really seemed to help a lot..
Well, coffee does it for me. And I'm addicted to caffeine so I never miss a morning at the Nespresso machine. (I know, I know, Nestle is stealing all the potable water in California... but they keep having floods there, so I figure Climate Change is making it okay...)
On a related topic: Does anyone have one of those retro-fitted Bidets? I think made by Toto the Japanese company. It attaches to your toilet, heats the seat (nice) and sprays your delicate derriere with warm water. I'm curious how well it works, and if it's aesthetically okay, or does it look like a frankenstein toilet with all the gizmos?
I've always thought Americans are vaguely icky for not installing bidets as a general practice. But then someone pointed out that Americans tend to bathe and shower daily... the French notoriously do not... hence the Bidet! hahhahha... (I've heard it's trendy now among the Hollywood elite to eschew daily bathing... I've lived in LA and those folks will jump on any bandwagon that passes by. I do hope they all use bidets if they won't bathe!)
So... Wishing a Happy Pooping Day, to all Conflabians!
And remember... even Nancy Pelosi (the classiest dame in America) says "poopoo"!
I used to swear by oatmeal, and bran muffins. However, I had a life changing experience when I had my B12 checked. It was loooooow. Started injections, weekly for a month. I’ve pooped like a teenager ever since.
I start off each day with a glass of water mixed with the juice of half a lemon, a little honey (very little.....maybe ½ a tsp) and a heaping tablespoon of ground flax seeds. I also consume a little chia seed “pudding “ at some point during the day. (Chia seeds in almond milk with a splash of good vanilla extract, a pinch of honey and a dash of real maple syrup. Refrigerate overnight. Add nuts/fruit/ unsweetened coconut before eating.) it’s soooooo filling, and full of fiber. Google the “benefits of flax seeds” and “chia seeds”. You just won’t believe the superpowers these things have!
I’m literally on the can as I type this. Who else?
Couldn't we talk about sex? Unless you're talking about coprophilia. Which is a big "no" in my book. One of the few "no" things in my book. But here's a ministory: When my mother died 12 years ago I was cleaning out her Florida condo, and found her copy of "The Joy of Sex." I opened it randomly, to the page "Mirrors," like a suite at Caesar's Palace, mirrored walls and ceiling. In the margin, I recognized my mother's handwriting: "No!" I closed that book so fast!
Prunes, baby. Not too many or you’ll have another problem on your hands.
OMG E. Jean! Not only is poop one of my favorites subjects, Michel de Montaigne, champion of the essay, is my fave philosopher! My undergrad degree in French required me to read all the greats IN FRENCH. His writings were meditative. And now I learn he was a champion of poop? I must have forgotten that little nugget. Anyway, I'm one of those lucky folks who's body eliminates like clockwork, every morning. Coffee with milk helps. I just have to wait for the magic, then I'm in and out, no need to sit and muse. Thanks for being open about a natural function. When I first married my hubby was very shy about this, but now it's a regular topic of conversation. My work is done 😆
Dear Poopless, fiber fiber fiber! Eat dem veggies, fruits, beans, rice and fermented foods. Rev that microbiome up! You will become the GOAT when it comes to the porcelain. To quote DR. Will Bulsiewicz author of Fiber Fueled “Take Epic Dumps”
Water and Ex-Lax. Wait, that’s how I stay thin 😆. Kidding aside, I drink a lot of water, not a set amount, just have a glass of water by my side throughout the day. I eat mostly clean and I add ground flax to my morning smoothie. Flax is cheap and good for you. Buy it whole and grind it yourself in small batches in a high-speed blender.
Ah, the topic that is taboo at the dinner table.
As a sufferer of Irritable Bowel Syndrome, I went for YEARS hunting toilets and trying to hide because of the horrible flatulence associated with the cramping and incessant need to "go". (Note: This stuff is roughly divided by the medical community into Type A - constipation, Type B - diarrheal, and Type C-combination. Lucky me, I'm Type C.) What medicine has FINALLY learned is that the gut has serotonin and dopamine receptors lining it and, if you don't make those little receptors happy, it will play sorry hell on your ability to function normally in that department.
Enter the doctor who was trying to treat my clinical depression (not my crampy stomach) and she upped the dosage of Zoloft. Suddenly, my gut problem vanished. At about the same time, I happened to read a book by Dr. Candace Pert, The Molecules of Emotion. (Which, btw, illustrates that SHE, not the men, was the one who did the research that documented that serotonin and dopamine are responsible for depression and other mood disorders.) She was also the one that documented the research on the role of the receptors on other organs of the body such as the heart, lungs, and intestines. (You really can die of a broken heart!)
Long story shortened, it's a mixture of chemicals (serotonin, dopamine, etc. via the medications I take) plus omeprazole for my GERD (which causes me no end of concern, but if I don't take it, my stomach turns into excruciatingly painful acid fire), probiotics, and an insanely high fiber diet that works for me. Yes, I use a bidet. No, no warm water which is something of a "thrill", but isn't bad. I love it. My recent bout with COVID included numerous runs to the "throne" and I do adore the bidet. It got nasty.
No, E. Jean, no deep thoughts while in there. The one thing about this situation is that I NEVER have to sit. The operative word is 'irritable". Get out of my way.
Fascinating read. He could have had irritable bowel or some other condition that made him so aware of his nether regions. Now we know about microbiomes and a variety of bugs/conditions that could have vexed him so. In a related vein, The Road to Wellville by T. Coraghessan Boyle is another deep study into the practices of John Harvey Kellogg who peddled cereals and ran a spa in Battle Creek, Michigan. He saved samples all over his lab. Cannot imagine the willies one would get gazing at all that carefully labeled poop.
Probiotics. LOTS of probiotics. Specifically, Garden of Life Dr. Probiotic 200 billion restore. Pricey, but I have had colostomy, resection, and 17 additional abdominal surgeries, IBS, and it's the only thing that works for me.
Read "Lies My Doctor Told Me" by Dr. Ken Berry, it's a real eye opener. I get my best ideas in the shower :o)
Can’t we do better than this??