Immortal and Exquisite Reader! If your life is being issued in installments… 1. What are the titles of the previous installments of your life? 2. What installment of your life are you living now? 3. How many future installments of your life will there be?
My habit is to burn all previous chapters as I go along. It keeps me from getting stuck in the past. My current installment is titled, "Choosing to Voluntarily Give Up Things Before Concerned People Start Making Choices For Me." It's going well. My man's birthday is today -- 87 years old. We really do have to give up some of our rambling and rambunctious ways, I say after 5 hours of digging in the garden. Oh, my back.
Dearest E. Jean — I take issue with your title for this installment of your life. I move to retitle it “Miz Carroll Snatches Back What’s Hers.”
Perhaps you will take issue with my installment names as well — I see my life in ten installments.
1) My very tortured and bookish childhood: “Anne memorizes the library and the oeuvre of Fassbinder”
2) My spiked-red-haired fishnet-clad high school years: “Anne reads Baudelaire in the original and decides she is an artist, dammit!”
3) My years at Sarah Lawrence: “Anne cries because her poetry isn’t good yet and dances in a fountain in front of FBI Headquarters.”
4) My years in Paris: “J.J. Abrams calls Anne ‘the woman who slept with Europe,’ but she gets winded before she’s halfway through the West Bank of Paris.”
5) My return to America: “Anne buries over a dozen friends who die of AIDS, gets sexually harassed out of a job, and writes speeches for the women’s movement”
6) My first marriage: “Anne marries Mayflower stock and memorizes Emily Post’s Ettiquette.”
7) The end of my first marriage “Anne works in publishing and writes freelance while her husband sleeps with their entire Episcopal Church behind her back.”
8) My post 9/11 trajectory: “Anne moves to Coney Island to think things over, immersing herself in Southern literature.”
9) My life along the Mississippi — “Anne marries a Southern man and becomes a Southern Writer to everyone’s surprise”
10) My current volume — “Anne as a subversive Southern matron and a Medieval Mardi Gras Parade Character”
1. Childhood, a difficult beginning that still haunts me a little bit.
2. A Misspent Youth, where I took it to the limit many times. Amazing I didn’t end up in a dumpster.
3. Trying to Fit In, wherein I got married (several times) wore a suit, was a member of the Chamber of Commerce, sold real estate, and still partied way too hard. Fitting in? Didn’t work.
4. I Finish a Formal Education, in which chapter I got my BA in liberal studies and half a law degree. I was very young when I “dropped out”. I was hanging out with an elevated type of hippie who had already attained a degree from Columbia or Stanford before “dropping out”.
Finally I realized that my rejection of western culture could never work. We become acculturated by age 3. I was merely a half-educated barbarian. So I fixed it.
5. I am a writer. This one snuck up on me. It really took after husband number 3 died. The first time someone asked me what I did for a living and I replied “writer” I truly shocked myself.
6. The Taos Mesa years. I have lived out here in the big empty for 9 years, in almost total isolation. Which got more intense when Covid hit. The first 5 years I published a local print magazine with a circulation of 5000 a month. Covid killed it. The last four years I have done a deep dive. I think I understand some things now.
7. Going Home. My offer on a duplex in upstate NY was accepted a few hours ago. We close on May 15. I will live in the bottom and rent the top at first and then buy a single family home in a year. I spent my early years in Binghamton, Bedford, and NYC. And have been hearing the call to go back for quite some time. After 50 years away.
8. What Will Come: I have a five year plan, but not a 10 year. I am two years off 70. I could live just a few more years or 30+. I have no real intuition on this point.
But I do know there is great turmoil in store for our species in the near future. And I am choosing the safest place I can, climate wise. I want to create a haven for a group of people and make sure we can survive what comes. I have always known I was meant to lead, and now I know in what capacity.
I am committed to democracy and earth regeneration. And will resist ecocide and fascism. My house will be a hub for those things as I write my books.
OMG E Jean... I loved each word of your life's installments! Wish I had time to figure out my own, but want to thank you for always always always brightening each day. ♥️
I often think of Jane Fonda, who, if I'm not mistaken, once described her life as three acts--and aimed to make the most of her third act--which she is quite wonderfully doing.
So the titles of my own three acts might be (the third, deliberately optimistic):
1. Youth Is Wasted on the Young (h/t George Bernard Shaw)
40's work on violence against women in non-profits, finding true love for 1st time
50's foster motherhood and animal rescue, finding out true love doesn't always last
60's Loss, CPTSD
As a cancer survivor, I plan to live until my 90's (at least) and only hope I don't spend the next few decades fighting off the demons that overcame my life when a psychopath entered it. I just want to be happy again. Got 3 decades to get there.
So, I was actually a touch concerned, till I realized that unlike a well written novel, our installments are not so easily themed. At 60 I should possibly be in a contemplative laid back installment, and I am, mostly, but that doesn't mean I don't occasionally drift back into my hellfire and brimstone activist installment or my own "Gather ye Rosebuds" instalment. The beauty of real life vs a good story is that we can embody all the knowledge and wisdom we gathered along the way all along the way (or occasionally chuck it aside for some fun).
Installment 1: Life Under the Patriarchy, Not Fully Aware
Installment 2: Life Under the Patriarchy, Fully Aware
Installment 3: Life Under the Patriarchy, Full Rebellion
I am at Stage 3. And that is my future.
I think the title of my life currently is “I’ve had enough of this shit”
My habit is to burn all previous chapters as I go along. It keeps me from getting stuck in the past. My current installment is titled, "Choosing to Voluntarily Give Up Things Before Concerned People Start Making Choices For Me." It's going well. My man's birthday is today -- 87 years old. We really do have to give up some of our rambling and rambunctious ways, I say after 5 hours of digging in the garden. Oh, my back.
Dearest E. Jean — I take issue with your title for this installment of your life. I move to retitle it “Miz Carroll Snatches Back What’s Hers.”
Perhaps you will take issue with my installment names as well — I see my life in ten installments.
1) My very tortured and bookish childhood: “Anne memorizes the library and the oeuvre of Fassbinder”
2) My spiked-red-haired fishnet-clad high school years: “Anne reads Baudelaire in the original and decides she is an artist, dammit!”
3) My years at Sarah Lawrence: “Anne cries because her poetry isn’t good yet and dances in a fountain in front of FBI Headquarters.”
4) My years in Paris: “J.J. Abrams calls Anne ‘the woman who slept with Europe,’ but she gets winded before she’s halfway through the West Bank of Paris.”
5) My return to America: “Anne buries over a dozen friends who die of AIDS, gets sexually harassed out of a job, and writes speeches for the women’s movement”
6) My first marriage: “Anne marries Mayflower stock and memorizes Emily Post’s Ettiquette.”
7) The end of my first marriage “Anne works in publishing and writes freelance while her husband sleeps with their entire Episcopal Church behind her back.”
8) My post 9/11 trajectory: “Anne moves to Coney Island to think things over, immersing herself in Southern literature.”
9) My life along the Mississippi — “Anne marries a Southern man and becomes a Southern Writer to everyone’s surprise”
10) My current volume — “Anne as a subversive Southern matron and a Medieval Mardi Gras Parade Character”
1. Previous Installments:
Hell is for Children
There's a Girl in Texas
I am Not Throwing Away My Shot
Good Girls Go to Heaven, Bad Girls Go Everywhere
2. Present: Here Comes the Sun
3. Future: In the Year 2525 ...
4. How it Ends: I Sing the Body Electric
#1- I don't belong in this family & all but Mom proved it.
#2-Feeling my oats, rebel against father, school officials & "should do & be."
#3-idiot life-leave security that I didn't know I had
#4-Chaos & confusion-son born, husband a child, divorce, find out I'm pregnant, run. (Both were BC babies!)
#5-Betterment, college, kids, work, dogs, cats & balance, though hard.
#6-Free at last, kids grown, move to warmer clime with BFF
#7-Married, widowed, still have dogs
#8-Now-Learning myself, again. Reminding myself I grew up, I learned, I'm still a rebel 😎 but chose my battles.
There better be more, I'm not done yet!! Yet, I really don't want to deal with men again, so...
Final? The fanality, of course.
But, I did it my way.
Previous Installment: I’m That Kind of Girl. Current Installment: The Menopausal Monster.
Number of Installments: 10.
Final Installment: I Told You I Was Right.
1. Childhood, a difficult beginning that still haunts me a little bit.
2. A Misspent Youth, where I took it to the limit many times. Amazing I didn’t end up in a dumpster.
3. Trying to Fit In, wherein I got married (several times) wore a suit, was a member of the Chamber of Commerce, sold real estate, and still partied way too hard. Fitting in? Didn’t work.
4. I Finish a Formal Education, in which chapter I got my BA in liberal studies and half a law degree. I was very young when I “dropped out”. I was hanging out with an elevated type of hippie who had already attained a degree from Columbia or Stanford before “dropping out”.
Finally I realized that my rejection of western culture could never work. We become acculturated by age 3. I was merely a half-educated barbarian. So I fixed it.
5. I am a writer. This one snuck up on me. It really took after husband number 3 died. The first time someone asked me what I did for a living and I replied “writer” I truly shocked myself.
6. The Taos Mesa years. I have lived out here in the big empty for 9 years, in almost total isolation. Which got more intense when Covid hit. The first 5 years I published a local print magazine with a circulation of 5000 a month. Covid killed it. The last four years I have done a deep dive. I think I understand some things now.
7. Going Home. My offer on a duplex in upstate NY was accepted a few hours ago. We close on May 15. I will live in the bottom and rent the top at first and then buy a single family home in a year. I spent my early years in Binghamton, Bedford, and NYC. And have been hearing the call to go back for quite some time. After 50 years away.
8. What Will Come: I have a five year plan, but not a 10 year. I am two years off 70. I could live just a few more years or 30+. I have no real intuition on this point.
But I do know there is great turmoil in store for our species in the near future. And I am choosing the safest place I can, climate wise. I want to create a haven for a group of people and make sure we can survive what comes. I have always known I was meant to lead, and now I know in what capacity.
I am committed to democracy and earth regeneration. And will resist ecocide and fascism. My house will be a hub for those things as I write my books.
All in all it has been a hell of a ride so far.
Installment 1: Wuzband #1
Installment 2: Wuzband #2
Installment 3: Wuzband #3
Installment 4: Nah...I'll pass.
OMG E Jean... I loved each word of your life's installments! Wish I had time to figure out my own, but want to thank you for always always always brightening each day. ♥️
I often think of Jane Fonda, who, if I'm not mistaken, once described her life as three acts--and aimed to make the most of her third act--which she is quite wonderfully doing.
So the titles of my own three acts might be (the third, deliberately optimistic):
1. Youth Is Wasted on the Young (h/t George Bernard Shaw)
2. 40 to 60--The Best Years
3. A Charmed Life
1. Painfully shy but determined. Know exactly what I want.
2. Scholar living best life. Taking risks.
3. Failed academic
4. Surprisingly good teacher.
5. Don’t know what I want anymore. Lost. Not how I imagined 40. Is it too late to become a burlesque dancer? Phase
1. What are the titles of the previous installments of your life?
*Imp
Rascal
Scamp
Minx
Pixie
Rogue
Devil
Prankster
Troublemaker
Mischief-maker
Precocious
Urchin
Bitch
Vixen
2. What installment of your life are you living now?
*see above
3. How many future installments of your life will there be?
𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙻𝙴𝚂𝚂
4. And what happens in the final installment?
that’s a
.
L̸̼̞̰͘O̸̜͉̹̳̎͒̎̄͘͘͝N̶͎̫̉̍͘͝G̶̢̨̖͚̜̺̭̥̭͓̾̒̃̃̈̏͋͝.
C̸̢̱̗̟̍͗̈́̆͗͒͊̑͘͜O̸̜͉̹̳̎͒̎̄͘͘͝N̶͎̫̉̍͘͝Ṽ̴̮̻̼̙̋͐̿̋̌̇̊E̵̪͐̌̕ͅR̶̨̨̖̬̹̥̜̠͎̺̍͐̂Ş̸̜̦̦̦̓́̐̈́͆̅̇̚A̶̤͍̟̲͓͕͍̼͕͎̽́̒̇͝T̷̢̧͎̤̗͙̜͓̽͊ͅͅĮ̴̧̝͔͍͖͇̹̗̅͆̈́̈́̒̕O̸̜͉̹̳̎͒̎̄͘͘͝N̶͎̫̉̍͘͝
1. She learns how not to parent, and learns that family can't always be trusted.
2. She learns that love happens when you leas6t expect it, and you need to trust the path unseen.
3. She learns that justice delayed is not justice denied, and that parenting is FUCKING hard, and full of triumph and heartache.
4. You are an INCREDIBLY strong and and fortunate person, and this ride can end at any moment.
My life has been distinctly defined by decades:
20's sex drugs and rock & roll
30's work with refugees in non-profits
40's work on violence against women in non-profits, finding true love for 1st time
50's foster motherhood and animal rescue, finding out true love doesn't always last
60's Loss, CPTSD
As a cancer survivor, I plan to live until my 90's (at least) and only hope I don't spend the next few decades fighting off the demons that overcame my life when a psychopath entered it. I just want to be happy again. Got 3 decades to get there.
So, I was actually a touch concerned, till I realized that unlike a well written novel, our installments are not so easily themed. At 60 I should possibly be in a contemplative laid back installment, and I am, mostly, but that doesn't mean I don't occasionally drift back into my hellfire and brimstone activist installment or my own "Gather ye Rosebuds" instalment. The beauty of real life vs a good story is that we can embody all the knowledge and wisdom we gathered along the way all along the way (or occasionally chuck it aside for some fun).