Your Polls, My Polls, Right Polls, Wrong Polls, Dumb Polls
Your Polls, My Polls, Right Polls, Wrong Polls, Dumb Polls
Penetrating and Pulchritudinous Reader!
1. What polls are you keeping your eye on?
2. What polls are driving you crazy?
3. Have you ever believed a poll in your life?
Or, do you not look at them?
Me? I don’t look at ‘em. I slap both hands to my ears when Lisa Birnbach accidentally mentions hideous words like, “Nat Cohn.” But perhaps I should be looking at them? What do you think? Can you recommend one?
So what am I doing with my time?
I am recalling the wild, wild nights with Hunter Thompson, taking Fran Lebowitz camping, working for Hugh Hefner and Roger Ailes, and how magnificently endowed a certain celebrity is.
It is the most delicious conversation since Joe Rogan shaved his eyebrows off…. and why is it delicious? Because Ms. Maggie Bullock and Ms. Rachel Baker of THE SPREAD are doing the interview, and The Spread is the most delicious of all Substacks because Maggie and Rachel curate the best and finest things from women’s magazines.
Here it is: It’s a riot!
I don't know a single person who was ever polled for an election. No one ever called me! And I don't trust or believe in them. I am going to continue my stress eating, Klonopin (just one a day) ingesting, caffeine, knitting like a demon. Oh kids, we have to win. We just have to.
I don't believe polls for two reasons: (1) I've studied statistics. (2) Decades ago, I received a political call. When they asked their question, I told them that because of the way they worded it, if I answered yes, my answer wouldn't be true, and if I answered no, it also wouldn't be true. They hung up on me. So, unless we know the specific question asked when the poll is conducted, we can't know the true meaning of the response that leads to the poll number.