On Friday, December 3rd, in this Year of Our Lord, 2021, Donald Trump’s lawyers and the DOJ will try to convince three judges of the United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit that the President of the United States was just doing his job when he slandered a woman who revealed that he had raped her decades earlier. (That would be me.)

You’ll be hearing a lot about this case over the next few weeks, and, by the by, good luck to my fellow journalists trying to explain—without sounding like they sucked on a canister of helium—why the DOJ is trying to prove that Donald Trump was acting as the President when he defamed me.

The hearing starts at 10 a.m. (or, let’s say it’s supposed to start at 10 a.m.) and before you butter your morning brioche and tune in to listen to the arguments at https://ww2.ca2.uscourts.gov/court.html, I would like to remind you, dear Reader, that the man the DOJ is defending with your tax dollars is the same man who knocked Natasha Stoynoff against a wall and shoved his tongue down her throat, the man who grabbed and jiggled Karena Virginia’s breast, the man who slid his hand up between Kristin Anderson’s thighs and pressed his finger into her vagina through her panties, the man who humiliated Alva Johnson by kissing her in front of her employees, the man who attacked Jessica Leeds on an airplane, the man who pushed Jill Harth up against a closet door, squeezing and grinding, and moving his hand up her dress... and these are just the women I wrote about in The Atlantic and Vanity Fair and whose accounts were fact-checked inside-and-out by the most-respected and quibbling Head of Research in journalism,Yvonne Rolzhausen—Ms. Verify, Ms. Nitpick, Ms. ProveIt—a woman who has never met a half-truth she couldn’t tear to shreds and jump up and down on.

As I wrote in The Atlantic, there are many more horrifying stories to be told:

“Nineteen, or 25, or 43 women have come forward to accuse Trump of ogling, grabbing, groping, mauling, or raping them. The women say they dodged, ran, froze, ducked, resisted, or laughed at him; and we all stood up, spoke out, got dragged through the mud, belittled, and besmirched.”

So the Appeals Court hearing on Friday is not just for me, it’s for Natasha, Karena, Kristin, Alva, Jessica, Jill and every woman who wants to speak out against a powerful man. (And for every woman afraid to speak out against a powerful man because she will lose her job, her reputation, her future prospects.)

This is why the DOJ defending Donald Trump is so flabbergastingly wrong:

If the DOJ wins, my case ultimately gets dismissed. And if I, a fairly well-connected woman with a brilliant team of attorneys lead by two of the most powerful civil rights litigators in the world—Robbie Kaplan and Joshua Matz—lose my right to be heard in court on this matter, how can a single mother with three kids who was assaulted on the floor of her factory and who has never even met a lawyer, get justice?

So, here’s my advice, and my prayer: Butt out, DOJ! Let Donald Trump stand on his own two tiny feet, defend his words and deeds in court, and allow us to proceed with my case!

And Now, for Your Delectation, May I Present a Little History of Our Wins Against Trump

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Bring Out the Blindfold, the Sword and the Scales….It Is Time for the Conflab to Weigh in with Its Judgement

The Conflab is where we hash over the questions sent to Ask E. Jean—and where our roisterous community routinely saves mankind. Because the Conflabbians are paying for the DOJ to defend Donald Trump, today we are offering counsel to the DOJ.

What makeup foundation do you suggest DOJ lawyers apply before their appearance in court? They will require something which gives full coverage to hide the continual blush they will be under, plus ten or twelve drops of Bausch & Lomb Maximum Redness Relief in each eye to conceal the fact they haven’t slept in ten months, and perhaps, just a touch of contouring to camoulflage the puffiness caused by their anxiety-eating.

Any other advice you’d like to give the DOJ?

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