E. thank you for your hard work not only being a queen but being a relatable one at that. I know you don't have to make mistakes but you're just doing it to make us all feel better about our own.
BTW once a few years ago I booked myself an AirBnB and there was a kerfuffle the second night when I got home and found all these guys in my rental smoking weed. I messaged the owner/the platform in a huff over the double-booking and then realized.... I had accidentally made the reservation for a year in advance. I was the one who was not supposed to be there.
We all assumed it was a clever meta-joke ... you wrote about the topic of memory lapse, and then "forgot" to include a working link so we could comment. Haha, E. Jean's making some next-level commentary on modern life! Genius!
It's not exactly mine, but -- my teen was desperate to do back-to-school shopping at a store in Georgetown; I am always desperate to avoid driving to Georgetown. A friend suggested I make it a win-win -- find a hotel, spend the night, have a great dinner, etc etc. Plan went beautifully. We drove down on Sunday, she found the clothing she wanted, we had a lovely dinner, we were up and out at 7:30 a.m., avoiding the traffic. Arrived home -- it's about an hour's drive -- and discovered she had left the clothes in the hotel room. We had to go back. Silver lining, mama got a new dress.
I once forwarded someone else's email rant about a boss TO THAT ACTUAL BOSS by accident. The ensuing embarrassment and shame on my part, oh my fucking god. This was 15 years ago and I STILL CRINGE at the memory.
Well, E. Jean, two days ago I was in a parking lot picking up some art supplies all the while chuckling to myself about how more than once I had tried to enter another vehicle that looked like mine but wasn't mine. So, I'm standing there and fobbing madly away when a woman approaches.
"Can I help you with something?" OMG, I was doing the same thing I was laughing about to myself.
Last evening I was thinking about the book my little company is publishing and absentmindedly reached into the oven and grasped the casserole dish without oven gloves. It is only by the Grace of the Goddess I am able to type this morning.
Can last night count? I left my laptop on the couch when I stood up to clean up the smoothie I'd spilt all over me, forgot to retrieve said laptop ... this morning one of the dogs was gnawing on it.
Right now it feels like that’s every day all day because I’m unemployed, can’t land a book deal, can’t find a partner in life, and I have zero prospects for any of those. It’s really hard to not question all of my life choices up until this moment.
I didn't even notice, E. Jean! I always love your posts so much that nothing can tarnish them in my eyes..
As for my own flub-ups, there are so many to chose from! The question is, when DON'T I flub up?
I remember reading that if you can laugh at yourself, you will never cease to be amused. And boy, do I have a lot of comedy in my life! :)
Working at a non-profit organization based in DC, we have a lot of dignitaries visiting us. One day, the doorbell rang and I jumped up to let a diplomat in. But first I changed out of my commuting sneakers and slipped into some sandals that I keep under my desk.
I showed the guest around the office and an ambassador arrived afterwards. I gave them a tour of our space as well. It wasn't until I was walking down the stairs and back to my office that I realized that I had two COMPLETELY different shoes on. One was a light tan-colored slip-on sandal. And the other one was a black, woven sandal.
Then I remembered that both guests had glanced down at my feet, but it didn't even really register at the time. Talk about a fantastic first impression! :)
Omg, Beautiful, if that was your idea of a mess up then Im too embarrassed to name any of my own!
I was this close (forefinger & thumb pressed together) to replying, “my memory’s great! In fact just the other... wait...what did you ask?” (An obvious and unclever joke)
Anyway. It might be time now for a go fund me page so we can erect a heroic size statue of E Jean on the sidewalk outside Trump tower.
When you are as fabulous as E Jean Carroll you make no mistakes. Your mistakes are like nixons idea of being president, “If the president does it, its not against the law..”
if E Jean does it, its the right thing to do!
That there is me writing incredibly poorly and making an ass of me. But I hope you caught the gist.
Forgive me for laughing but your description of your ooopsie cracked me up.
Having been there and done that I have found there are a few steps in the grieving process:
1. Damage control: Admit, apologize, and send the correct info.
2. Flagellate oneself for a maximum of 10 minutes.
3. Find a way to make it funny. I lean towards poetry but I think one of your hilarious tales of how it all played out (be sure to include fight and chase scenes and lots of verbal repartee) that resulted in you accidentally hitting send with your light saber while defending the honor of all women would probably do the trick.
4. Seek solace in friends who know you are not a dim witted, inattentive, semi-literate dolt and will tell you so. Dearest E Jean you are one of my favorite writers (that was a sincere compliment btw).
5. Seek solace in food. There’s nothing quite like sweet potato fries (or in your case a mayonnaise sandwich) to sooth a wounded ego.
6. Finally, know that for most of us knowing that you are not perfect and occasionally stub your toe too is both endearing and reassuring.
Love you to the moon and back and all that mushy stuff.
I always thought that my favorite person in the world -- E. Jean -- was about as perfect as any human could possibly be...and I still do feel that way....everyone is entitled to a flub every now and then...Heaven knows, I screw up more times than I care to admit....One of my more embarrassing experiences took place decades ago when I was giving a training session to a bunch of PR interns and I was instructing them on how to effectively pitch stories to the media.....so on speaker phone, I dialed one of the reporters I knew at The Times so they could hear my pitch and the reaction on the other end...As turned out, I got her voicemail and left a very brief but tantalizing message...I then proceeded to tell the group that this particular reporter had a reputation of being especially arrogant and it wouldn't surprise me if she never returned my call. One of the interns then raised her hand and inquired why the light on the phone was still on?! Of course, it meant that I never disconnected the call and that my critical commentary would be part of the message!!!!!...Needless to say, my call was never returned.
Short-term memory is usually okay but have been having a few slip-ups. I try not to multitask because that can be a recipe for disaster. I use my calendar diligently though sometimes that doesn't prevent things from slipping through the cracks. I was supposed to have tea with my girlfriend on Friday; it was in my calendar but I just didn't bother to look. I thought I was home free with nothing to do so got caught up in re-organizing my guest room. When she texted me, it clicked as to where I was supposed to be. Thankfully, I was dressed so I made up some excuse and managed to get there 10 minutes later. I really don't like it when that happens because I feel I have to resort to a fib so I won't look bad. I like my friends to feel they are a priority, which they are but sometimes, trying to depend on my memory ain't it, anymore. Edit: And just like that, I totally forgot what I was supposed to be doing after I sent this. I interrupted a project in order to answer your question because, of course, you are more interesting, E. Jean. Tangents are so tempting...
Screw Up
E. thank you for your hard work not only being a queen but being a relatable one at that. I know you don't have to make mistakes but you're just doing it to make us all feel better about our own.
BTW once a few years ago I booked myself an AirBnB and there was a kerfuffle the second night when I got home and found all these guys in my rental smoking weed. I messaged the owner/the platform in a huff over the double-booking and then realized.... I had accidentally made the reservation for a year in advance. I was the one who was not supposed to be there.
We all assumed it was a clever meta-joke ... you wrote about the topic of memory lapse, and then "forgot" to include a working link so we could comment. Haha, E. Jean's making some next-level commentary on modern life! Genius!
It's not exactly mine, but -- my teen was desperate to do back-to-school shopping at a store in Georgetown; I am always desperate to avoid driving to Georgetown. A friend suggested I make it a win-win -- find a hotel, spend the night, have a great dinner, etc etc. Plan went beautifully. We drove down on Sunday, she found the clothing she wanted, we had a lovely dinner, we were up and out at 7:30 a.m., avoiding the traffic. Arrived home -- it's about an hour's drive -- and discovered she had left the clothes in the hotel room. We had to go back. Silver lining, mama got a new dress.
I’m 79 years old and have never made a mistake that I can remember.
I once forwarded someone else's email rant about a boss TO THAT ACTUAL BOSS by accident. The ensuing embarrassment and shame on my part, oh my fucking god. This was 15 years ago and I STILL CRINGE at the memory.
Really E. Jean, your mistakes are better than what I send out on purpose.
Well, E. Jean, two days ago I was in a parking lot picking up some art supplies all the while chuckling to myself about how more than once I had tried to enter another vehicle that looked like mine but wasn't mine. So, I'm standing there and fobbing madly away when a woman approaches.
"Can I help you with something?" OMG, I was doing the same thing I was laughing about to myself.
Last evening I was thinking about the book my little company is publishing and absentmindedly reached into the oven and grasped the casserole dish without oven gloves. It is only by the Grace of the Goddess I am able to type this morning.
Can last night count? I left my laptop on the couch when I stood up to clean up the smoothie I'd spilt all over me, forgot to retrieve said laptop ... this morning one of the dogs was gnawing on it.
Right now it feels like that’s every day all day because I’m unemployed, can’t land a book deal, can’t find a partner in life, and I have zero prospects for any of those. It’s really hard to not question all of my life choices up until this moment.
I didn't even notice, E. Jean! I always love your posts so much that nothing can tarnish them in my eyes..
As for my own flub-ups, there are so many to chose from! The question is, when DON'T I flub up?
I remember reading that if you can laugh at yourself, you will never cease to be amused. And boy, do I have a lot of comedy in my life! :)
Working at a non-profit organization based in DC, we have a lot of dignitaries visiting us. One day, the doorbell rang and I jumped up to let a diplomat in. But first I changed out of my commuting sneakers and slipped into some sandals that I keep under my desk.
I showed the guest around the office and an ambassador arrived afterwards. I gave them a tour of our space as well. It wasn't until I was walking down the stairs and back to my office that I realized that I had two COMPLETELY different shoes on. One was a light tan-colored slip-on sandal. And the other one was a black, woven sandal.
Then I remembered that both guests had glanced down at my feet, but it didn't even really register at the time. Talk about a fantastic first impression! :)
Omg, Beautiful, if that was your idea of a mess up then Im too embarrassed to name any of my own!
I was this close (forefinger & thumb pressed together) to replying, “my memory’s great! In fact just the other... wait...what did you ask?” (An obvious and unclever joke)
Anyway. It might be time now for a go fund me page so we can erect a heroic size statue of E Jean on the sidewalk outside Trump tower.
When you are as fabulous as E Jean Carroll you make no mistakes. Your mistakes are like nixons idea of being president, “If the president does it, its not against the law..”
if E Jean does it, its the right thing to do!
That there is me writing incredibly poorly and making an ass of me. But I hope you caught the gist.
(Btw handsome hubs there girl!)
Thanks for the pic. 👍🏼
Forgive me for laughing but your description of your ooopsie cracked me up.
Having been there and done that I have found there are a few steps in the grieving process:
1. Damage control: Admit, apologize, and send the correct info.
2. Flagellate oneself for a maximum of 10 minutes.
3. Find a way to make it funny. I lean towards poetry but I think one of your hilarious tales of how it all played out (be sure to include fight and chase scenes and lots of verbal repartee) that resulted in you accidentally hitting send with your light saber while defending the honor of all women would probably do the trick.
4. Seek solace in friends who know you are not a dim witted, inattentive, semi-literate dolt and will tell you so. Dearest E Jean you are one of my favorite writers (that was a sincere compliment btw).
5. Seek solace in food. There’s nothing quite like sweet potato fries (or in your case a mayonnaise sandwich) to sooth a wounded ego.
6. Finally, know that for most of us knowing that you are not perfect and occasionally stub your toe too is both endearing and reassuring.
Love you to the moon and back and all that mushy stuff.
Hugs!
Jena
I always thought that my favorite person in the world -- E. Jean -- was about as perfect as any human could possibly be...and I still do feel that way....everyone is entitled to a flub every now and then...Heaven knows, I screw up more times than I care to admit....One of my more embarrassing experiences took place decades ago when I was giving a training session to a bunch of PR interns and I was instructing them on how to effectively pitch stories to the media.....so on speaker phone, I dialed one of the reporters I knew at The Times so they could hear my pitch and the reaction on the other end...As turned out, I got her voicemail and left a very brief but tantalizing message...I then proceeded to tell the group that this particular reporter had a reputation of being especially arrogant and it wouldn't surprise me if she never returned my call. One of the interns then raised her hand and inquired why the light on the phone was still on?! Of course, it meant that I never disconnected the call and that my critical commentary would be part of the message!!!!!...Needless to say, my call was never returned.
Short-term memory is usually okay but have been having a few slip-ups. I try not to multitask because that can be a recipe for disaster. I use my calendar diligently though sometimes that doesn't prevent things from slipping through the cracks. I was supposed to have tea with my girlfriend on Friday; it was in my calendar but I just didn't bother to look. I thought I was home free with nothing to do so got caught up in re-organizing my guest room. When she texted me, it clicked as to where I was supposed to be. Thankfully, I was dressed so I made up some excuse and managed to get there 10 minutes later. I really don't like it when that happens because I feel I have to resort to a fib so I won't look bad. I like my friends to feel they are a priority, which they are but sometimes, trying to depend on my memory ain't it, anymore. Edit: And just like that, I totally forgot what I was supposed to be doing after I sent this. I interrupted a project in order to answer your question because, of course, you are more interesting, E. Jean. Tangents are so tempting...
I knew I forgot something.