YOU WIN! YOU WIN! YOU WIN!

I'm so sick of losing, for Gawd's sakes, let's talk about winning

For Instance:

I WON THIS SPECTACULAR LONE RANGER OUTFIT WHEN I WAS SEVEN

I don’t remember the dress I wore to my first prom, but I remember opening the huge box and drawing out by its black cuffs, the beautiful embroidered buff-colored shirt, the black neckerchief, the golden bolo, the black trousers with buff piping and an embroidered cowgirl boot on the pockets, the very fine beaver hat with wind strap, the white holsters with leg ties, the long-barreled silver cap guns, the silver spurs, the three silver bullets in the belt, and the black mask.

How did I win it?

America was asked: “Why Do You Love Cheerios?” The winner received a white horse for his entry, “Because I can eat them with a toothpick.” I came in 2nd with “I love cheerios because I can make breakfast by myself,” so…..

What’s the Best Prize You’ve Won?

Of course, the main thing we all want right now is to win back our Constitutional rights, but….

Tell us about the first (or the best) time you walked off with the prize:

1. What was…