What COULDN'T . . .

Most Brilliant and Beauteous Reader!

It’s hot. I’m meandering around the Folly. Miss Jessica Bennett once overcame her disgust of the outdoors, clapped eyes on the Folly, and was not impressed.

But here I am this morning dragging my withered carcass up the Folly. The Folly consists of three trails I have cut straight up-and-down a very steep hill. I call these trails: Mama Bear, Papa Bear, and Baby Bear.

I cut the trails so I could have NO excuse for NOT dragging my withered carcass up and down ‘em, OK? And here I am straggling along in my electric blue mechanic’s overalls and my Allbirds and my black tights (TIGHTS MEANS NO TICKS!), and when I say “straggling,” I mean the slowest locomotion a woman can perform without losing her balance and falling head-first into a crevice (and, trust me, Reader! The Folly has just gobs of crevices!). So here I am, as I say, straggling up Baby Bear jawing to myself: “It’s too hot. You’ll never do six today.”

Six: Meaning up-and-down Mama, Papa, and Baby twice.

And, hell, I’m saying to myself, what with this heat, just doing a half-Baby would be insane . . . and if doing a half-Baby is insane, then doing a full Baby would be totally impossible . . . and if doing a full Baby would be totally impossible, then doing two full Babies would be sooooo out of the question, the hyperthermia would cause my brain to melt and run out my ears, and only the Conflab would know where to find me: (MAP: AT THE TOP OF THE FOLLY, HEAD-DOWN IN THE CREVICE.

But.

Guess what, Enchanted Reader? Though I did not think I could do it. Though I did not think I would do it. Though I would have bet you a thousand bucks I could never do it today, never——I stunned myself by hiking the full Baby! Repeat: THE FULL BABY. Then I hiked Mama. Then I hiked Papa.

AND THEN . . .

I THREW IN ANOTHER BABY!!

Only when I was jauntily swinging down the last yards towards my cabin, did it occur to me why I felt so delicious.

I had just done something WILD. I had taken revenge against my weaker, wimpier self. I had shown that lily-livered, chicken-hearted, lazy-assed jelly-fish who lives along side me, what she could have done.

We all walk a tightrope, my darlings. (Sometime several tightropes, eh?) We all contradict ourselves. We all, as old Walt said, “contain multitudes.” Today I received actual damn proof that I could take hot revenge against one of my most milk-soppy selves. And it was a gas! I loved it!! Loved it! Have you ever felt this? Can’t we all do this? And win our country back?

So, let me repeat the question:

This is the stump where I keep count of the number of times I go up and down Mama Bear, Papa Bear and Baby Bear.

And . . . here is the crevice.

Which I just hiked back up Baby to get a picture of!!