Dear E. Jean:
I’ve met a wonderful guy. He’s smart, funny, considerate, and so incredibly hot I can’t even put it into words. I adore him! Things are great. Except the sex.
Technically, it’s good. He’s got an amazing body—but he’s a talker. He talks constantly, with descriptions about his, um, physical readiness, updates on how things are going, and even throws in a few “oh, babys” for good measure.
It drives me crazy! It’s getting to the point where I can’t stand it, and avoid sex so I don’t laugh. I feel like I’m in a bad porn movie. How can I make this work without hurting his feelings? —Quiet in Cali
Dear Cali:
Gag him.
Ravishing regards,
E. Jean
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