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The Other High Heel Drops
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I’m so incredibly proud of the greatest civil rights attorneys in the Nation: Robbie Kaplan! Shawn G. Crowley! Mike Ferrara! Honorable Woman, Matt Craig! Joshua Matz! Trevor Morrison! Rachel Tuchman! Helen Andrews! Emma DeCourcy who is getting married this weekend! Kate Harris! Sean Kelly! Donya Khadem! And Adam Bresgi!
And Now, Peerless Reader! Since We Are Here to Give Our Best Advice . . .
. . . especially to the correspondents who’ve been lately writing in and asking for guidance on how to hold their attackers, assaulters, harassers, molesters, batterers, abusers, accosters, and assailers accountable.
Many are asking the same questions:
1. How do I report?
2. Should I report?
3. What will happen if I do report?
I created a special folder with their queries. I dutifully filed that folder in a special place, and now, because I’m distracted by the beauty and charisma of my new dog, I can’t find the folder. BUT! One correspondent wrote four times in two days. I had no trouble finding her email, and here it is:
Dear E. Jean Carroll:
I’m hoping this gets to you somehow~~
I would like help ~~ advice~~ for putting my molester stepfather in jail. It happened when I was in 5th and 6th grade and now you have given me strength to at least try! I’m 65 years old and looking up civil lawyers! I’m also getting written statements from longtime friends, gathering medical documentation—trying to get everything in order. I know you're probably receiving calls from others for help. I can't imagine what your schedule is like, but I have much more to say! I'm also looking for your address to send a letter, but my little town doesn’t have a post office. I will try u with my husband Bob’s cell phone. We’ve been married for 41 years +
The perpetrator lives 15 miles from me. I called my county court, and nice lady said to make a police report in Meeker County. I work as certified nursing assistant and home health aid in Meeker County, but I'm just not sure what the best 100% thing is I should start with! Please, E. Jean, when u get the time! My landline is — — —My cell is — — — If u were closer I'd treat you for lunch at Mom’s and my favorite place... Shadys in L—.
I never expect a lot, then I'm never disappointed. My address is —
God bless you and all your loved ones for standing your ground!
I praise your backbone!~~~ Mrs. M—
P.S. If not in jail... At least to bring him to the forefront of his actions.
My dear, dear, Mrs. M!
From our backbones, to your backbone, brave Mrs. M—the Mighty Conflab and I send greetings!
The world doesn’t think of a 65-year old nursing-assistant as a dragon slayer, but Mrs. M, let us look at the facts:
You were ten, eleven/twelve years old in the fifth and sixth grades. That means your ex stepfather molested you 53-56 years ago. In the state where you live—and, indeed, in the states where most of us live—there are a statutes of limitations. The time frame within which you were permitted to bring a criminal or civil case against your stepfather for molestation closed over 40 years ago.
But here is where the dragon-slaying comes in, Mrs. M!
Since your state has no statute of limitations for “criminal sexual conduct,” if you can find an attorney smart enough to bring a case against your ex- stepfather for the specific crime of criminal sexual conduct, and if you can convince that lawyer to work on a contingency basis—or better, pro bono—I believe you’ve got a good chance of holding your ex-stepfather accountable.
Good luck, Mrs. M! We salute you! Let us know how you are progressing!
Imagine (we can’t do it, unless you imagine it), imagine if Mrs. M and every woman in the country who’s been attacked, assaulted, molested, mauled, thrown-up against a wall, threatened, pinched, pummeled, fingered, fondled, bruised, wounded and hurt by a man—imagine, Valiant Readers, if every woman comes forward and tells what happened!
Think of it! If a woman tells her story, and every woman listening to her stands up and tells her story, and all the woman listening to them, stand up and tell their story, and all of us just stand the hell up and tell our stories about what happened to us in grade school and high school and college and at the office, and on dates, and walking down the street in the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s 90’s, and last week at the seminar, if we speak up, if we yak! Yak! Yak! Yak! Yak! Yak, the culture of sexual violence will be annihilated right off the planet. The culture of sexual violence CAN NOT EXIST if women yak to the police, to the DA’s, to the HR departments, to the press, to Twitter, to Facebook, to TikTok, to the assaulter’s bosses. YAKKING IS A WEAPON. And that’s how we do it.
“And that’s how we won,” says Robbie.
“So, we have to scale the voices,” says Dahlia Lithwick on her podcast.
“If we just scale the voices,” I reply, “the whole world changes. That’s it. It’s really that simple.”
And now let’s hear from the Conflab—the wisest bunch of boffins since the Manhattan Project….We know coming forward is difficult. We know some men retaliate. We know it’s difficult to find an attorney. We also know that staying silent doesn’t work. Tell us about the time you spoke up?
Ahem…….about that new dog . . . .
Honored Conflabbians, may I present Miss Havisham, a GREAT Great Pyrenees, rescued from Upstate New York.
You ask how are Miss Havisham and Guffington Von Fluke are getting along? Well……..Right now they’re starring at and bumping each other like they both swiped left on Tinder and are on the worst date ever!
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Send questions, please, to E.Jean@AskEJean.com, or leave a voicemail question at 845-682-0881—Thanks!