The Little Defamation Suit that Could!
The Little Defamation Suit that Could!
A Flabbergasting Update of Carroll v Trump
Who Could’ve Guessed We’d Chug, Chug, Chug and Puff, Puff, Puff through a New York State Supreme Court, a Federal Court, the 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals, and the D.C. Court of Appeals??
Beauteous Reader! A Few Headlines Tell the Story:
Jan Ransom, November 4, 2019
But because Trump says he can’t be sued because he’s president, and because Robbie Kaplan, the greatest civil rights attorney in the country, argues so brilliantly in New York Supreme Court that Trump can be sued, Judge Verna L Saunders rules that…
Nicole Hong, August 7, 2020
In fact, Judge Saunders’ ruling so alarms Trump—a chap who doesn’t like paying his lawyers—that Trump gets the DOJ to foot the bill; and, because it’s the DOJ, the case automatically moves to Federal court.
Alan Feuer, September 8, 2020
Now, wouldn’t ya know, a federal court happens to be the place where Joshua Matz is universally known as the smartest man in seven states. So Joshua fires up his 583 IQ, and his arguments blow the nylons so thoroughly off the DOJ that Federal Judge Lewis Kaplan agrees with Joshua and tells the DOJ to butt out.
Alan Feuer and Benjamin Weiser, Oct. 27, 2020
And so, what does the DOJ do? Does the DOJ send your advice columnist a letter saying:
Dear E. Jean: We are so humiliated to be representing the man who assaulted you. Please permit us take you to tea; and, while you order all the cake and ice cream you want, we will explain all the reasons we are dropping the case.
P.S. Love your longer hair!
No. The DOJ just adores representing Trump and runs to the United States Court of Appeals, Second Circuit. And the 2nd Circuit takes a pair of tongs, snaps up the decision, and carries it over to the District of Columbia Court of Appeals and drops it on their docket to decide. Why, you ask, Incomparable Reader, why? And I will tell you why. Because when Trump said I was too ugly to assault, Trump was in D.C.
Rachel Weiner, September 27, 2022
And meanwhile, guess what Matt Craig, Honorary Woman and perfection of all litigators, is doing? He is preparing our new assault case, and, along with Robbie, Joshua, and the peerless and pregnant Rachel Tuchman—handling depositions.
Keven McCoy, October 19, 2022
And what might the former president be doing? He is in Mar-a-Lago seething with indignation and fury and telling the world….
Which means that we will be bringing, on November 24th, a second defamation suit (and this time Trump said those terrible things when he was not the president) along with suing him for battery under the new Adult Survivors Act, passed by Albany earlier this year.
Benjamin Weiser, November 17, 2022
So there you have it, Splendid Reader! Tune in on Thanksgiving to read the complaint. It is a masterpiece!
Adam Klasfeld, November 17, 2022
And if, Dear Reader, in the dead of the night you wake up screaming…..remember Shawn Crowley. Shawn Crowley is a partner at Kaplan Hecker & Fink and a woman who has no equal for beauty or valiance in taking down terrorists—Shawn was not only Assistant United States Attorney in the United States Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York, and Co-Chief of both the Narcotics Unit and Terrorism and International Narcotics Unit, Shawn is on the E. Jean team and skis frickin’ moguls on her days off!
Anyone think we should ALL wear skis, goggles, and schuss into court January 10th?
Send questions, please, to E.Jean@AskEJean.com, or leave a voicemail question at 845-682-0881—Thanks!
Thank you for that astonishing and thoroughly mind-boggling update.
I am not only disgusted by the many and shady ways the orange pustule has been allowed to dodge justice but impressed beyond words by the tenacity, chutzpah, and talent of your legal team.
There is something deeply satisfying about knowing you Auntie E. You are funny, articulate, and irreverent, yes but if I have learned one thing from making your acquaintance, it's that it is not wise to mess with a woman who knows she is fighting for ALL women.
Thank you so much. You know we are standing with and beside you, and if that means declaring Thanksgiving Day a day in which all women cross country ski through the day, I'd be up for it.
Sending love, hugs, and a high five your way. ~ Jena
E. Jean, I am equal parts delighted (that you’re able to stay the course) and appalled (WTF and why should you have to go through this???) with the progression of your cases (!) through the various courts.
And I adore the longer hair!