The Little Defamation Suit that Could!
A Flabbergasting Update of Carroll v Trump
Who Could’ve Guessed We’d Chug, Chug, Chug and Puff, Puff, Puff through a New York State Supreme Court, a Federal Court, the 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals, and the D.C. Court of Appeals??
Beauteous Reader! A Few Headlines Tell the Story:
But because Trump says he can’t be sued because he’s president, and because Robbie Kaplan, the greatest civil rights attorney in the country, argues so brilliantly in New York Supreme Court that Trump can be sued, Judge Verna L Saunders rules that…
In fact, Judge Saunders’ ruling so alarms Trump—a chap who doesn’t like paying his lawyers—that Trump gets the DOJ to foot the bill; and, because it’s the DOJ, the case automatically moves to Federal court.
Now, wouldn’t ya know, a federal court happens to be the place where Joshua Matz is universally known as the smartest man in seven states. So Joshua fires up his 583 IQ, and his arguments blow the nylons so thoroughly off the DOJ that Federal Judge Lewis Kaplan agrees with Joshua and tells the DOJ to butt out.
And so, what does the DOJ do? Does the DOJ send your advice columnist a letter saying:
Dear E. Jean: We are so humiliated to be representing the man who assaulted you. Please permit us take you to tea; and, while you order all the cake and ice cream you want, we will explain all the reasons we are dropping the case.
P.S. Love your longer hair!
No. The DOJ just adores representing Trump and runs to the United States Court of Appeals, Second Circuit. And the 2nd Circuit takes a pair of tongs, snaps up the decision, and carries it over to the District of Columbia Court of Appeals and drops it on their docket to decide. Why, you ask, Incomparable Reader, why? And I will tell you why. Because when Trump said I was too ugly to assault, Trump was in D.C.
And meanwhile, guess what Matt Craig, Honorary Woman and perfection of all litigators, is doing? He is preparing our new assault case, and, along with Robbie, Joshua, and the peerless and pregnant Rachel Tuchman—handling depositions.
And what might the former president be doing? He is in Mar-a-Lago seething with indignation and fury and telling the world….
Which means that we will be bringing, on November 24th, a second defamation suit (and this time Trump said those terrible things when he was not the president) along with suing him for battery under the new Adult Survivors Act, passed by Albany earlier this year.
So there you have it, Splendid Reader! Tune in on Thanksgiving to read the complaint. It is a masterpiece!
And if, Dear Reader, in the dead of the night you wake up screaming…..remember Shawn Crowley. Shawn Crowley is a partner at Kaplan Hecker & Fink and a woman who has no equal for beauty or valiance in taking down terrorists—Shawn was not only Assistant United States Attorney in the United States Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York, and Co-Chief of both the Narcotics Unit and Terrorism and International Narcotics Unit, Shawn is on the E. Jean team and skis frickin’ moguls on her days off!
Anyone think we should ALL wear skis, goggles, and schuss into court January 10th?
Attentive Reader! I am not bringing this new suit for myself. I am bringing it for all women—for every woman who has been pushed, pinched, pawed, assaulted, dragged through the mud, disbelieved and treated like “soiled goods” by a man in power. So to receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
Send questions, please, to E.Jean@AskEJean.com, or leave a voicemail question at 845-682-0881—Thanks!