RED FLAGS

Dear E. Jean:

My boyfriend of four years says he never wants to leave me. He says he “loves me more than life.”

And yet he gives me nothing in the way of real love.

He turns around things I say. Everything I do—my career, my friends, the way I spend money, my pets, etc.—is wrong. He despises my family. My parents are good, kind people. They sent five kids through private school and made sure we had every opportunity. But since they mismanaged their money and weren't disciplinarians, my boyfriend calls them terrible names and uses the crudest words imaginable!

He also thinks that no matter what job a woman holds, the man is master in the home. He yells at me constantly, and he has slapped me when I haven't done the dishes or cleaned the house. When I went out of town recently, I came home to a house so disgusting, I burst into tears. He said he'd been "too busy" and that I should clean it up.

And he degrades me for being messy!

I've tried to show him for four years how good I can be. I do…