Psssst. Mr. Ideal is Dead…

Dear E. Jean:

I know exactly what Mr. Ideal looks like—right down to his hair color. I know every one of his outstanding qualities, characteristics and values. I know that when he comes along, I’ll instantly recognize him and our relationship will be passionate and magical.

So much for what I know.

Let’s talk about real life. I’ve met a wonderful guy. He’s cute as heck. I think he’s the one—but he’s definitely NOT what I had envisioned as my ideal man. To complicate matters, I’m 39, single, want to marry and have a baby more than anything, and my biological clock is TICKING TICKING TICKING.

My quandary: I’m worried that if I marry him, my Mr. Ideal will come along and I’ll be tied to the wrong man—It’s Crunch Time!

Crunch, My Kumquat:

Oh, for gawd’s sakes, woman! Stop blubbering! You want a baby? Have a baby.

And while you’re at it, marry Mr. Great-But-Not-Ideal. You’ve been dating since you were, what? 14? That’s 25 years of man-meeting. A quarter of a damn century, and the more men you’re …