Lauren Boebert's Armpit & Nora Ephron's Neck

The Seven Ages of Women, 1544, by Hans Baldung. An Ask E. Jean Classic

Dear E. Jean:

I'm getting older and struggling with the fact that I'm losing my looks.

Before I finally give up on this beauty business and go for the Angela Merkel look, I'd welcome your thinking about "holding the line"—clothes, makeup, weight, plastic surgery, etc. Just getting dressed in the morning is turning into a whole thing. I know you have a great attitude, but so do some people who look terrible! —Slowly Crumbling

Crumbling, My Crumpet: 

You did not just write “give up” and “Angela Merkel” in the same sentence, did you?

WOMAN! You don’t mean Angela Merkel, the fashion influencer with 1.8 Instagram followers, do you?