I'm Trapped in a Family of Pedophiles

Dear E. Jean:

When I was in my early 20s, I fell in love and married. We had two children, a boy, Brett, and a girl, Lily. After 12 years together, my husband left me for my best friend. (The old story.) A year after our divorce, my then 9-year-old daughter, Lily, told me her dad had sexually abused her. We went to court for three years and he pleaded guilty.

But he told Lily that he pleaded guilty to protect her from further need to go to court. (So now he is the protector!)

Fast forward to today and abuse has spread throughout the family.

My son—Brett—has a son named Mike. Mike has three daughters—8, 9 and 11. Mike is very close to his grandfather (my ex-husband) and sees him and his wife a lot. Mike abused alcohol and lost custody of his three girls, and I am helping my son, Brett—who has custody of the girls—care for them and bring them up.

My grandson, Mike, is trying to rehab his life, quit drinking, and eventually get his girls back. My son and I are supportive of Mike, and hope he will be able to shake the booze and put his life back on track, and be the dad the girls always wanted.

My concern is that the girls are being inadvertently groomed by Mike to see his grandfather as a nice, wise, talented man. My question:

Should I tell my great-grand-daughters about the sexual abuse? My ex-husband has abused many girls in the family. Only my son and I distance ourselves from my ex-husband. My daughter, Lily, whom he abused when she was little, actually lives with him and his wife!

My ex-husband comes from a very large family. He has 12 brothers and sisters. Five of the brothers have been accused of molestation/sexual abuse.