"I Lost My Mojo! Has Anybody Seen It? Can the Conflab Help Me Get It Back?"

Hi E. Jean! 

I love reading your Substack. It’s such a lovely community, and I thought that you and some of the Conflab might be able to help me. Why? You are such an amazing group of writers. 

My problem is that I lost my creative mojo. I’m looking for some advice about how to get it back. 

When I was in my senior year of high school, I fled my toxic home and got an apartment with my best friend.  Even though it was rough trying to survive, somehow, we made it. 

In the midst of the hustle to pay my bills, I worked a gazillion different jobs (you name it, I have done it); but I squeezed in writing whenever I could since it helped me to heal.   

There was no time or money for college.  So, I just took writing workshops whenever I could afford it.  But the years ground away, and my writing fell through the cracks.  Several years ago, I decided to get back into it and signed up for a writers’ retreat weekend.

I was really excited about it.  Our first writing exercise was to write an affirmation to ourselves and then share it with everyone.  When I read mine, I proudly announced, “I AM a writer!!!” 

But one of the workshop facilitators let me know in no uncertain terms that I was not a writer.  And I hadn’t earned the right to call myself one.  On top of that, I was lucky enough to get assigned to him for one-on-one feedback on my writing.  And he ripped it to shreds. 

This broke me.  I went to my room and quietly sobbed. 

But last year, I decided to get back on the horse and apply for an MFA/creative writing program.  And I was thrilled to be accepted!  I have my first class in May. 

But now all my negative self-talk is flooding back to me: “I’m not really a writer.  I’m a loser because I am 52 years old and only have a high school diploma.  I was only accepted into the program because they needed my tuition money—not because of my writing.  I don’t have anything original to say and nobody will care about what I write,” etc., etc..

E. Jean, I’m hoping for some guidance on how to stop spiraling.  So, how do I believe in myself (and my writing) again?   

Any thoughts from you and the Conflab would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks! 

Peace, 

Jane a/k/a Woman In Search Of Writing Mojo 

P.S.  I am sending this message via multiple ways listed on your website.  So, please excuse any duplications!

Jane! Jane! E. Jean here! Please send me that asshole’s name.

I want to take him to tea at the Crosby Street Hotel, ply him with buckets of oolong, trenchers of tarts, crates of cakes, and seven or eight dozen macarons and then….