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How To Change Your Life

ejeancarroll.substack.com

How To Change Your Life

E. Jean Carroll
May 25, 2023
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Here I am, the Old Crone, livin’ on a mountain top, nuthin’ much happenin’, gettin’ up in the mornin’, gettin’ dressed, takin’ a selfie…

And . . . BOOM! MY World Explodes.

Why?

I get a new dog. Her name is Miss Havisham.

(Sure, I got other stuff going on, but a dog adds a glimmering joy to every hour, and, yes, that’s my long underwear hanging there 👇🏽 on the clothes line.)

Miss Havisham stands on the kitchen table cuz she RULES!

And no one* goes in OR out the front door without getting Miss Havisham’s permission.

*By “no one” I mean Guffington Von Fluke and Vagina T. Fireball.

But Miss Sham and Guff get along pretty good

Miss Havisham (like Guff) is a rescue. My brother Tom says Great Pyrenees are the most moral dog breed, so Sham no doubt believes all creatures are equal . . . . .

Except

one.

Donald Trump.

Three days ago, we filled our Proposed Amended Complaint for Carroll 1—written by the illustrious Robbie Kaplan, Joshua Matz, Matt Craig, Shawn Crowley, Mike Ferrara, and Trevor Morrison—seeking new damages for Trump’s vile comments on CNN and his foul rants on Truth Social. Here’s the Amended Complaint—it has a terrible beauty.

Proposed Amended Complaint
914KB ∙ PDF file
Download
Download

Here’s George Conway (who’s had BIG changes in his own life) explaining the Complaint:

Yesterday, Federal Judge, Lewis Kaplan set the schedule for Trump’s response. The former president must reply by tomorrow.

So…..THIS is how we change Donald’s Trump’s life.

And now….let’s talk about all the changes, big and small, going on in YOUR one, precious Conflabbian life.

The Conflab is the fizziest, most unpredictable, mad, resilient, impulsive, ornery, brilliant bunch of viziers on God’s green globe. And for three long weeks, what with yakking about the Trial and CNN and filing NEW defamation suits, we haven’t had a chance to let down what’s left of our hair, and tell each other what’s been going on.

So….What’s Up, my luvs? Life happens in the tiny changes…….Let’s hear about yours.

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309 Comments
Paul Slansky
Writes There Is No Bottom
May 25Liked by E. Jean Carroll

As his hatred of dogs is well known, I think it’s safe to say that Miss Havisham is NOT HIS TYPE!

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3 replies by E. Jean Carroll and others
Carrie, Quite Contrary
May 25·edited May 25Liked by E. Jean Carroll

Go E Jean Go!!!!!

Thank you a bazillion times over for not allowing Commander Crazy Pants to AGAIN try to destroy you. Stand tall Beauty, you have a legion behind you offering our support!!

Your attorneys need to slice a giant hole in his finances, the stupid idiot just doesn't know when to keep his disgusting mouth shut and that is providing them with opportunity after opportunity to go after him in court again, hurray!!

Those shoes you're wearing in the first picture are smoking HOT!!!!! The sharp angle of the toes would be perfect for skewering someone slimy like the Orange Idiot...square in the nether regions!! (That kick would be for all of us who've been victimized and slandered!!)

You are the absolute BOSS in your bravery and tenacity!

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