Blurbing v. Boffing

Most Beauteous and Cunning Reader!

As the Conflab is one of the Grand Assemblies of our time . . . And as the continued existence of the human race depends on the Conflab deciding the burning questions of the day . . . And as I would like to brag about my blurbs . . . we shall be debating the following question:

The question to be debated is———Considering the two greatest pleasures on earth (Blurbing and Boffing), is it more gratifying to be blurbed about, or boff your brains out?

Boffing is, I grant you, as far as I can recall, quite nice. But blurbing is a lasting satisfaction.

One can re-read a blurb over and over and over and over and over. Or write a blurb over and over and over and over. Whereas with boffing, well, really, after thirty or forty times a day, one gets tuckered out.

It is not my intention to sway the debate one way or the other by mentioning that Katie Fabulous Couric called the blurbs on the back my book the “best blurbs of a book she has ever read.”

No. No. If you happen by chance to pay attention at about six minutes into the interview, and happen to hear Katie Spectacular Couric, the greatest interviewer of her generation, let slip an opinion about my blurbs and read them aloud to her 477,000 subscribers . . . and if you happen to be ever-after guided by this amiable genius of broadcasting, well. Really, now. Is it my fault that . . .

you

can’t

help

yourself?

So. Let’s settle the question:

1. What’s the greatest blurb (compliment, endorsement, tribute, homage) you’ve ever been slathered with?

Note: No blurb is verboten. Consider praise you received from your 2nd grade teacher, your boss, your coach, your clients, your paster, your mother, your readers, your stylist, your subscribers, your viewers, your listeners, your enemies. One of our Conflabbians, Laura Lippman has won the Edgar Allen Poe Award, the Macavity, the Agatha, the Nero, the Gumshoe, the Gold Dagger and the Ian Fleming Steel Dagger for her marvelous detective fiction. We all know Old Laura has some KILLER blurbs.

Or Jena! From time to time she publishes a shimmering slew of blurbs about her Substack.

Or Lorraine Evanoff! She usually keeps her blurbs to herself. However, Lorraine let’s us imagine the blurbs by occasionally showing us the covers of her books on her Substack.

Or Marissa Rothkopf? Bah! The woman is bad, very, very bad at blurbing. The most worked up I ever saw Marissa get is when she published a great piece with The Contrarian and said she was “chuffed.”

2. What’s the best boff you’ve enjoyed?

3. Which brought you more pleasure? Being blurbed or being boffed?

Bonus

Of course, any blurb (or blurbs) about your boffing wins the debate.

P.S.

Also Katie and I talked about why we kept NOT MY TYPE a secret till it dropped, the price I paid for coming forward, the clothes I wore to court, the guilt I still feel, the test trial and mock jury, Katie’s famous white Armani jacket, the fact I didn’t scream, the “perfect” victim, Robbie Kaplan’s lust for battle, Katie’s famous Sarah Palin interview, how to make Donald Trump angry, and how to give away the $83.3 million to everything Trump hates.