BIG HUGE MASSIVE COLOSSAL INCREDIBLY FABULOUS ADVICE CONTEST!

Clever and Stunning Reader!

Here we have three anonymous correspondents with three knotty questions.

This contest, should you choose to enter, is to write one answer — 27 words or less — that solves all three quagmires.

You simply (simply!!) must find the common human flub-up each letter reveals, figure out one solution, and write 27 words of advice (or less) which will help all three correspondents out of their difficulty.

The winner will be sipping cocktails, Zoom style, with Miss Havisham! (Also with Guff, Vagina T. Fireball, and me.)