All the Women My Man Sleeps With

Dear E. Jean: 

I recently found out that my boyfriend of six months has been seeing several "steady" girlfriends. Each one thinks she‘s his only girlfriend. I’d suspected him for quite some time, but I was still shocked when I confronted him, and he confessed.

E. Jean, I know you will (definitely!) tell me to leave him and move on, but I’ve decided to stay with him. However, this doesn’t mean I approve of his behavior. I’m hurting so much that I often envy the other girlfriends for knowing nothing. I’m still in love with him, I guess.

My problem is this: knowing his lifestyle now, and the fact that he had also been sleeping with sex workers both here in the States and—two years ago—in Africa and the Middle East, I really think he should get tested for HIV and other STDs. I’ve mentioned getting tested for HIV several times, but he’s too afraid to find out the truth. He’s been using condoms since he came here, though I know they’re not 100% effective. I’m worried about myself and his other…