Har! Look what I just ran across:
My boyfriend went to Mexico with two friends for a getaway. I surprised him by picking him up at the airport, and I'll be damned if he didn't get off the plane with a new wife, both of them smiling and pulling the expensive luggage I bought him for Christmas! He says he now realizes his mistake and promises to get an annulment and marry me. Should I give him another chance?—Missed Being Mrs.
It's the words "pulling the luggage I bought him" that kill me. Refrain from giving him anything except the bill for the L. Vuitton and an ebullient “Adios, Asshole!” (2007, “Ask E. Jean,” which I found last night on the floor, after my cat, Vagina T. Fireball, knocked over a 4-foot stack of elderly Elles. And by the by, all those dewy young models in the pages of those old Elles are OUR age now! Ha!)
Was it from a dickwad? Or a job? Or five pounds of flab? Or a bad habit? Or a hideous project? We’d all lurve to hear about it!
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