A Cam Girl Stole My Man

Dear E. Jean:

About a month ago, I discovered that my husband has been conducting an expensive, three-month affair with a 25-year old Romanian Cam Girl. He hasn't met her in person yet (we live in Seattle), but he was making plans to leave me, and move his job to Bucharest, when I stumbled on the evidence.

I'm trim and attractive. We have a 16-year history. He's always been loyal and upfront, but he now claims that since I never wanted children, and since he's in his late 40's, this may be his last chance to father a child. He says that he "cares deeply" for both of us, but that the Romanian whore is "intensely religious" and refuses to be with him unless he divorces me first.

Not only does this stink of an Internet romance-scam, this is so out of character for him. It is also fiscally complex. We own a house, there are adored cats involved, I earn more money. Whatever to do?

Oh, and I still love him. —Witless in Seattle

Witless, My Wondrous Widgeon:  

Send the abysmal chump to Romania! He…